Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
