is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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