She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
