with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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