Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
