just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
