I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
