Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
