Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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