i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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