If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
