Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
