Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize