Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
