Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
