In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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