my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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