weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
