Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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