check it out our google latitudes are spooning
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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