her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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