Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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