Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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