dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
