i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
