How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
