don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
