it was like eating out sand paper
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
