i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
