Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
