Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
