I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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