I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
