i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
