Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize