Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
please come you make the beer taste better
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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