i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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