i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
