i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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