No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
