So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
