either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
