Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
