yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
