well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it penis luge time yet?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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