she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
