I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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