If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
