there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize