It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Shitshow foam night was such a success
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
