i just wanna soil my oats bro
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
