I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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