I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
