Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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