is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
