he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
