i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
