belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
