paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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