Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize