Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
