we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
