You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
