Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
