listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Watching her eat just hurts me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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