Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
