Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
