I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
